A long-drawn screech
pushes open the door,
leading way to eerie shadows
strolling a narrow moonlit corridor.

Floorboards creak underfoot below.
Attuned to a trespasser's measured step,
the intruder's nightmare, melodically so.

Harp strings cut silent, no notes to strum,
instead, finger drug dust lines on the mantle;
some specks swirl amid the silent hum.

Down the stairs, a gust flees with fright,
amid clacking windowpanes,
crisp air coils clutched in cold's delight.

An exterior brick lies
encompassed in shattered glass;
seven years counting, bad luck's surprise.

Welcome to my unhaunted haunted house!
The company? A pair of grim gargoyles
and the occasional croaking grouse.

Six-feet-plus plots available!
On-duty groundskeeper, open occupancy too!
Glaze over the fine print 'non-refundable'
and sign your name in lieu.

Penned by my hand on the 2nd of Valnuary, in the year 997 AF.