Let's toast to ugly sirens! Poor misbegotten few! Unsightly lasses, lift
your glasses! Those girls have feelings too!

Spindly, awkward sirens! Small breasts unblessed by age. As thin as
adolescent men held starving in a cage!

Swarthy, pockmarked sirens! Who never taste champagne. But for a beer
and willing ear will gladly entertain!

Syphilitic sirens! An itch man mustn't scratch! With wares as beat as
mutton meat and faces fit to match!

Bestial, scruffy sirens! And don't we know a pair? With extra weight and
crooked gait and teeth and eyes and hair!

Bless the obese sirens! Plus-sized angels all! 'twere not their heft who
else is left to date the short and bald?!

Let's toast to ugly sirens! Please join me in a cheer! For handsome
girls around the world who cannot join us here!


Penned by my hand on the 5th of Valnuary, in the year 572 AF.