i am ugly inside
black, black as heart's blood
but so cold.
I feel it in me,
an overwhelming weight of
wrongness, of taint.
The emptiness of it is staggering,
and it brings tears to my eyes
stingy and salty. and bitter
so, so bitter on my tongue.
I want to..
to glow like a jewel.
Hidden in the marred surface of
perfection, and of light.
I want to be hued, and faceted.
Just to be something other than me.
For just a minute, before the lights are
shut off again, and the jewel stops glowing.

Penned by my hand on the 3rd of Daedalan, in the year 432 AF.