How many times have I watched as the person I love falls away from me
and right into another's arms?

Sometimes, I wonder how I do it.
No matter how much my heart is broken into bits, stomped on and smashed.
No matter how much everything meant to me, how much it hurts me to let
go.
How obvious it is I didnt mean anything to them.
How fast they are with someone new.
How fast their "love" is removed from me and transferred to another.

Sometimes, I wonder how I do it.
How I keep walking, breathing.
How I keep from crying, and letting it all out from deep inside.
How I deal with that place inside of me that still loves them.
That wakes me up at night crying.
How I deal with that loss, the emptiness where their heart once filled
me with life.

Sometimes, I wonder how I do it.
How I can be the strong one.
How you can come to me and tell me everything.
You know I will never tell anyone.
I just add it inside with my own pain.
Compare it to mine.

Sometimes, I wonder how I do it.
How I deal with your pain, my pain, her pain and his pain.
How your pain fades away from you as you tell me..
Taking a little of mine with it for a time.

How youre sad when you come to talk with me and how you leave feeling
just a bit better..
How knowing I helped you only makes me feel better until I sleep again.
Until I see her again, or think of our time together again.
Sometimes I wonder how I do it.
How my mind can wander aimlessly and still find her.
How even though she is gone, my heart is still firmly in her grasp, how
I cant shake it..
How I dont want to..
How somehow I lose power over my mind for a short time.
How somehow, someway I struggle back and smile.

Sometimes I wonder how I keep smiling
Sometimes I know its fake
That smile is just for you.
So you dont know what Im feeling inside
How I'm dieing inside

Sometimes, I dont know how I do it, but the smile is for real.
Sometimes Im free
Sometimes Im free

I dont know how I do it.
I just do.
Maybe, sometimes its you who really helps me, I dont know how you do it.
But you just do.

Penned by my hand on the 12th of Miraman, in the year 414 AF.