Three monkeys sat in a cocoanut tree
Discussing things as they're said to be.
Said one to the other, "Now listen, you two
There's a certain rumor that can't be true
The very idea is a disgrace.
No monkey ever deserted his wife,
Starved her babies and ruined her life
To leave her babies with others to bunk,
Or pass them on from one to another,
Till they scarcely know who is their mother.
And another thing you'll never see:
A monk build a fence 'round a cocoanut tree
And let the cocoanuts go to waste,
Forbidding all other monks to taste.
Why, if I put a fence around a tree,
Starvation will force you to steal from me.
Here's another thing a monk won't do:
Go out at night and get on a stew,
or use a gun or club or knife
To take some other monkey's life.
Yes, man descended, the ornery cuss
This was written by anonymus.

Found this floating about, thought someone might get a laugh

Penned by my hand on the 14th of Scarlatan, in the year 363 AF.