Mr Quackers,

Do you remember me? It's Zargoth. We met at the CIJ Jamboree many years ago where you taught me how to quack. I still have a good duck call!

But you didn't even say hi to me when I joined the clowns in Delos. Not that I'm bitter about it or anything after all these years, not at all.

At least the ducks in Hashan were nice.

You could've been useful back then though, help me hone my humour so I could still be funny in life even after the CIJ. However, being surrounded by red fog definitely takes a toll on a jester's creativity in regards to comedy.

So I had to take drastic measures. -Very- drastic measures.

I'd like to thank the number one, handy dandy, super soldier, the one, the only, Mick the mouse!

Freshly caught and educated to be the best suicide mouse, he eventually succumbed to the steps necessary for his mission. It was daunting, perilous and dangerous, but my trusty compatriot entered where few mice dare to go alone.

That's right, Mr Quackers. The Carnivalis House Estate.

What did my little mouse find in there, Mr Quackers? None other than a stack of letters right in your quarters! Bless that little mouse's soul as he went above and beyond his mission objectives and didn't just take from the top of that pile, but brought me the whole stack of missives sent to you!

And let me just say...

These jokes aren't just bad, they're -TERRIBLE-. Who sent you this stuff?

"Why did the duck cross the road? To quack on the other side."

"What is a dragon's favorite snack? Firecrackers!"

"How do you keep a stupid jester in suspense?"

That last one didn't even have a punchline!

Clearly Mr Quackers, you are no longer the connoisseur of comedy I thought you to be if this is what you feel is worth keeping instead of charring.

"Never meet your heroes" they say, and clearly this as close to a meeting I can have with the real you, duck.

You know what this means? There needs to be a new Director of Comedy now and I'm the troll for the job. Maybe I'll share part of this trash heap of humour to the masses, maybe I'll feed it to the pirahnas in Mhaldor.

Whatever I do with all these jokes, it'll be better than what you'd do with it in your bill.

If other comedians want to share good humour and jokes, you're better off sending your letters to Zargoth instead of this fowl.

Remember everyone, you can't spell slaughter without laughter,

Zargoth
Director of Comedy

PS. How the QUACK do you get so many love letters too?!

Penned by my hand on the 16th of Miraman, in the year 997 AF.