The Pelagian Madness, by Riahn Aegocerus

Never in all of my years has it been my dubious fortune to lay eyes upon a work so ridiculous, so on-the-nose, so fallacious, insane, and oblivious as the so-called book recently written and advertised by Liella Desmijr as a "foundational text" on the Sea and other Sea-adjacent personalities, titled "The Pelagian Mandate".

The work in question is nothing less and nothing more than a zealous pamphlet intended to fill one's head with unscrupulous dogma. The fact that any attempt at conversion in this manner is probably extremely hopeful on the part of the author given the nature of the text, suggests to me that the purpose of it rather lies in the self-congratulating, or the elevation of one's perceived status among their equally deranged peers, and in front of their egotistical object of assiduous worship.
Hilariously, not only is it a pamphlet of incoherent religious babble, but one that the lucky recipient is expected to pay for themselves! I didn't, and hopefully neither do you.

In any case, I will spare the casual reader a thorough deconstruction of the wily wordcraft at work, and provide you with a brief summary.

This absolute work of literature deigns to begin, putting one foot in front of the other and marching straight off a cliff in the very opening statement.
No, I'm afraid "water" and "Him" were not the first things to exist. Actual history or mythology seems to be beyond the scope of the author's intent, much like logic, or common sense, or any sort of humility.
No, I'm also afraid that the sky does NOT in fact reflect the sea, that rivers flow INTO it, not out of it, and that a different Lord altogether happens to have have the wind and the storms at His beck and call.

But, shame on me for being such a stickler when it comes to irrelevant details!

Anyway, here is a list of examples of absolutely outlandish things one can expect to learn when they crack the covers on this epic:

- One can discover the ultimate truth of all things by standing on a beach.
- The truth that you will eventually be drowned.
- You only live because you have not been killed by an angry sea god yet. You ungrateful sort, you.
- Conquest is restoration.
- You should probably surrender or die.
- Your works, your cities, your duties, your homes. Yeah, those mean nothing.
- You ARE water. Or the ocean. In any case, that means you're a de facto subject of the sea god.
- You'll get it eventually. When we/He KILL(s) YOU.
- Ours is the one truth (a claim very popular with a lot of ideology in general).
- Strength is manifested only through various impending catastrophe at sea, and/or drowning.
- To erase something is to conquer it.
- Killing you is a mercy you should be thankful for.
- This is a book of truth.

The aforementioned points and claims repeat in various and numerous instances, in relatively unstructured, stream-of-consciousness kinds of ways.

In truth, in its many insufficiencies, self-sufficiencies, proselytizing deviations, miscalculations, unbounded and insane over-reach, utter arrogance and (last but not least) not so veiled threats of indiscriminate scope, this might very well BE a foundational text for the actual truth of the "dominion" of the Sea.

Anyway, I feel like this needs to be said: You're not supposed to drink the saltwater. Its really not good for you.



Best of luck,

Riahn Aegocerus
Exiled Runewarden of Cyrene, Heart of the Vashnars

Penned by my hand on the 3rd of Glacian, in the year 996 AF.