Hello everyone, it's me Prophet Jonesey. I have some updated Dear Jonesey's that need my help! Here we goooooooooooo

NEXT!!!

You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

I'm in love with Vinzent. I've included gold as payment for you helping him find me since you are so almighty and powerful, and loved by all, or so you claim. Let us see what Jonesey can really do.


-Waiting.

Dear Waiting.,

Do the following and I guarantee you that Vinzent will know how you feel.

TELL VINZENT I LOVE YOU

Now he knows, however you have exposed yourself to rejection. What is he loves Jonesey more than you? What if everyone in Sapience takes my advise and tells him they love him? What if Jonesey loves him? Surely you cannot compete against me. Better hurry up, the clock is not in your favor. I am unsure of your gender, but if you are a female my pro tip to you if to get pregnant as quickly as you can. Nothing will force someone to be with you faster than a kid.

Good luck, im messaging Vinzent as we speak.




NEXT!!!!


You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

I have a huge issue and apparently it's becoming
an even harder and larger one to deal with to which
my psyche is having a disturbing hard time dealing
with. I've spent all of my life, which is long at
this point. They just disappear with this, 'retirement'
and I'm supposed to just forget about them and this
huge hole that they have left in my life and those
friends and family that have been involved with them.
It's so much worse than simply going to sleep, cause
then you have the hope that they might once more
wake up and you can hold them, talk to them and hear
their voice. What would you recommend of getting over
this issue, other than simply refusing to talk or
make friends with anyone awake for fear of them simply
disappearing without a thought of those they leave
behind?

Feeling Forsaken and Left Behind.

Dear Feeling Forsaken and Left Behind,

Don't think of retirement as the end, think of it as trading in your old chassis for a newer model. I personally like running the classic 356 model, but some are opting for younger options. The thing is if you were a bad person in a previous form, you will be a bad person in your newer form and everyone will STILL hate you. Don't be a dirty liar because people will find out who you are and everyone will remember why they hate you. Seriously, we all know you were awful before, did you think we would just forget?

Getting back on track, best way to get over the loss of a friend is to make a new one. I make new friends all the time because I am the best and people desire to be my friend. Those who do not want to be my friend are miserable with their own lives and cannot be around the positive orb of energy that is Jonesey. Woe is them.


NEXT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey.

I am bored... So terribly bored...

I have goals
I have Ass-pirations
Butt, I am bored.

What should I do?

Yours sincerely,

A butt buddy.

Dear A butt buddy.,

It's pretty simple, have you tried to not be bored?




Well this wraps up this episode of Dear Jonesey, please write in with your problems and I, Jonesey, will solve them for you. Remember ask yourself, What Would Jonesey Do.

Penned by my hand on the 18th of Sarapin, in the year 791 AF.