Hello everyone,

Another edition of Dear Jonesey for your solutions. As a reminder please make sure to send at least 1 golden sovereign so I know you mean business. Let's dive right in!

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You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

This is a follow-up question to my last. Thank you indeed for your
advice! Did I understand you correctly, are you saying that any interest
this (flirtatious, unsual, communicative, charming, mysterious,
mindreading) person might display in the future CAN only be part of a
con-artisty plot? That there is not a chance in this world that this
other person might truly start to likelikelike me? Since a person of
such magnificence can only develope loving feelings for another person
of such magnificence? I think I am a pretty cool individual, actually. I
would not call myself a habiitual flirt, though. However, I would absolutely date myself.

Sincerely,
Still Not Just Another Ordinary Day

P.S. I forgot to mention: The person is married, but it seems the
partner is dormant.

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Dear Still Not Just Another Ordinary Day,

I would say that romance scams are quite common these days and it is
always important to protect your own self interests and more importantly
your assets. There CAN be a chance they have sincere intentions, however,is it worth finding out? A married individual with a dormant spouse is a tough challenge, similar to a dead spouse. When is too soon, is this atouchy subject, and am I wasting my time? These are important questions that you need to figure out before persuring anyone that is married.

You mentioned that you would date yourself, sometimes self lovin' is
the best way to hold you over until your next encounter with another.
Self-lovin' is an important way to figure some of these questions out,
after all, if you can't love yourself, how can someone else love you?
I reccomend that everyone embarks in a journey of self-lovin.

Love Jonesey
(P.S. I am available as a consultant on self lovin')

NEXT!!
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You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

Who is FuFu?

Thank you for insights into the realms.

Curious Crumble

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Dear Curious Crumble,

FuFu is the creator of the creators. We would have nothing without FuFu.
Those of you who are not familiar with FuFu, read a book. History shows
that FuFu helped with the intelligent design of everything that we have
right now and FuFu will unite us all.

Did you know that Eleusis, Mhaldor and Targosass have the same goal?
If you consider what happens if they hit their first tier long term
goal, the steps that proceed after that accomplishment all are the same.
They will argue that this is untrue, but once they complete their "goal", The environment that they accomplish will be the same. Don't think of this in the literal sense, more in the figurative sense and then this will make sense. I will pause for a moment, as I can hear your minds being blown.

When the dust settles, FuFu will still be there. Hail FuFu.

Love Jonesey

NEXT!!
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You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

I have lived in this world long enough to know that Achaean cities are
headed by a mortal cityleader and one or more Divine Patron(s) or
Matron(s). However, when checking HELP ASHTAN today, I noticed a
variance. And a linguistic change.
I am certan that the title of the mortal cityleader of Ashtan was always
"Overseer". However, it seems that this position is now called "Archon
Ascendant" Okay... but, there also is an "Overseer"? Well, I thought at
first, maybe the title of the Divine Patron changed as well, but no...
HELP ASHTAN does list a Divine Patron - Lord Aegis! And then I noticed
... that I cannot HONOUR the Overseer...and I do not think this was due
to poor spelling...

Three questions:
1) Why three?
2) Why can't I HONOUR the Overseer?
3) And, most importantly: Why is Lord Aegis listed on position three?
This seems somewhat impolite, to say the least...

If only one question per letter is allowed, my request would be that you
simply chose one of the questions to answer and disregard the other two.

Thank you.

Unsigned
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Dear Unsigned,

Mortal Cityleaders are for squares, who wants to be led by a flawed
individual? I mean if you want to be led off a cliff, there are plenty
of city state options that can take you right off the edge. We now have
an Archon Ascendant because our mortal leader is appointed by out Overseer.

Here are a short form answer to your questions.

1) Greater than two, less than 4
2) Because you are a weak mortal
3) Because RPS is a complicated sport

I have answered three of your questions in one, but next time I'm charging
extra.

Love Jonesey

NEXTTTTTTTTTT
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You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

Would you rather mess with Jonesey or Targossian necromancy? Why?

signed wondering,
Just asking

P.S. How do you spell "Targossian"?

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Dear Wondering, Just asking,

I would rather mess with Jonesey then Targossaucian necromancy.
The why is quite simple, even though Jonesey teters on the edge
of mortal and immortal, he is just a single indivudual. Targosass is a full city of corpse ravagers so they amount of damage they can do is more devastating than Jonesey. If you have ever watched Targosass in action, they rely on their strength in numbers and if the numbers aren't there, they are useless. Seriously, so useless. Like wow, why are you guys even a city? You're like a town at best.

The correct spelling is T-A-R-G-O-S-S-A-U-C-I-A-N.

Love Jonesey

NEXT!!

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You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

I recently mailed several people prank letters (Hi Farrah and Jinsun!)
and one (Hi again, Farrah) found me out. Do you have any tips on
pranking people and getting away with it?

Signed,
A prankster

P.S. No, I am not a Jester!

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Dear A prankster,

Recruit a team, have a multifacted prank, one that cannot be traced directly to you. When sending letters, have others send letters on your behalf from other post offices. This will make your pranks harder to trace.

In order to get away with pranks, its important to be three steps ahead of your target and have proper execution. Plan out what the end result is and work backwards so you can predict flaws within your pranks. The most important thing to remember with a prank is that it has to be done to make someone laugh. Even if it isn't the mark themselves doesn't laugh, it's worth it if you can get a laugh from someone else. If your prank makes people cringe and no one laughs, well thats just a malicious attack and you should reconsider your prank.

The best way to "get away with a prank" would be to personalize it based on information you know about the mark. That way at the end of it all, your mark will also have a laugh at it and then you don't have to "get away with it" but sit back and be proud of your prank versus hope you won't face retaliation. Pranks should be fun and cheeky and if they aren't, well, those aren't pranks.

Love Jonesey

P.S. Jesters are people too

NEXT!!!
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You read what is written on an elegant white letter:
Dear Jonesey,

Could message me your advice? I always get the wrong newspaper from the
newspaper boy. I am sure you can get my name from Farrah.

Signed,
A prankster (or maybe "the prankster"?)

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Dear A prankster (or maybe "the prankster"?),

No

Love Jonesey

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Thanks everyone for all your questions, I hope I was able to provide some clarity and give you answers to your meaningless lives problems. One day all the problems will be solved by me because I am the greatest and only I can solve these problems.

Don't forget to send at least 1 golden sovereign in your letters so I know that you mean business. Serious business.


I look forward to the next edition of Dear Jonesey!

Penned by my hand on the 20th of Chronos, in the year 808 AF.