A. Fan writes on the public board the following:

Dear Jonesey,

I am very interested in blackmail, what are your suggestions on how to get started?

Sincerely, A. fan

Well A. fan, blackmail is quite simple, and I will give more details on how to blackmail someone in a step by step tutorial.

Step 1- learn about your target
Find out what they like, what they dont like and more importantly what they do like, but shouldnt like. In this example lets say Yndra likes to spend time with underage children, but has a unsavory past with them. People know about this past and would be shocked to hear that he spending his time in high risk environment.

Step 2- figure out what you want
You cannot ask someone for something if you dont even know what you want. This is your opportunity to shoot for the stars. Ask for that promotion or raise, this is a great time to get something you don't deserve. Perhaps you can ask them for their first born or ask them to do something else unsavory (This is a professional move as now you have more ammo to blackmail them in the future with)

Step 3- confront confront confront
Tell them you are willing to be silenced, for a price. Name your price and if they do not agree to your terms, trickle a smaller piece of information there. Context is important here as you have to find the person who would also be embarrassed by this revelation. In this scenario, your first move should not be to tell a husband that his wife is cheating on him. Instead you can speak to the person the wife is cheating with and see if they help put pressure on the cheating wife.

Step 4a- compensation
Congrats, you did it, you shall be rewarded for your hard work and silence.

Step 4b- exposure
That secret you have been holding on to? Its a secret no more, shout it from the mountain tops, let the birds and bees hear your voice and know what you have learned (pro tip- step 4b can some after 4a if you feel like it)

I hope that this has been a help to you A.Fan, if I only knew who you were, I would love to tutor you one on one, but alas being anonomous works wonders.



NEXT LETTER!


Dear Jonesey,

I need advise on how I would go about gaining the affections of a man who doesn't know I exist. Perhaps a "What would the female version ofJonesey do?"

My thanks,

A Targossian Shadow

Did you know the prettiest Grooks and birds are male? Men doll themselves up in many species to attract attention from a female (or male) companion. A good step one would be the following:

Hi

This powerful word is how I've met all my wives in the past. That solves your lack of existance problem.

Now to gain his affection, well love is very similar to blackmail and I direct you to the steps above.

Hope this helps you A Targossian Shadow!


Penned by my hand on the 6th of Miraman, in the year 790 AF.